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Post by Claire on May 20, 2007 1:56:43 GMT
((So, uhh... I'm not sure if this would really count as a spoiler or not. We all know about Desmond's visions, right? About how Charlie is doomed to die? Yeah so... let's say that comes true. Charlie's dead for the purpose of this thread. I know it's sad, but it makes for an interesting moment I had thought of. ) For once, Claire was actually not crying. It had been two days since Charlie's funeral and it seemed like she had done nothing but cry ever since she had been told what happened. She just felt so numb. Claire didn't feel like she had any energy left to do anything. In fact, she hadn't even really left her tent. After the funeral, someone had taken Aaron so that she didn't have to be bothered by him (she couldn't remember who had offered). Now, though, she had her baby back and decided that she didn't want anyone else taking him away from her. Claire had just lost the man she loved and she wasn't about to let her baby boy out of her sight. At the moment, she was sitting on her make-shift bed with Aaron lying down in her lap. He was playing with her fingers, an act that usually got a smile out of Claire. But she hurt so much that she didn't think she would ever really smile again. What was the point? Charlie was best at making her happy, at making her feel better when she was sad, and now he was gone. She felt like crying, but the tears wouldn't come. She was exhausted from crying almost non-stop these past few days and it seemed as if her eyes were refusing to cry anymore. Claire knew that her eyes were red and probably puffy, but they weren't coated in tears. She stared down at the baby in her lap and ran her finger along his chest, feeling empty. Broken. Lost.
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Post by desmond on May 20, 2007 2:39:09 GMT
The horizon was bright orange, and the clouds above it were tinted similarly by the setting sun's rays. Waves crashed down on the sandy beach as the high tide crept even higher yet. A few seagulls here or there squabbled over tiny bits of crab meat, and the castaways of somewhere around three months began to arrange themselves for the coming of nightfall. Fires were set up, groups were formed. Work was done during the day, and darkness brought rest along with the fear of what else shared the island with them.
Another distraught soul trudged barefoot through the sand. Desmond Hume glanced towards the water, briefly. Again, there was no sign of a boat on the horizon.
*Flashback*
Upon waking in the boat with a massive headache the other day..Desmond had immediately jumped into the water. He swam with everything he had down towards the undwerwater complex, and he surfaced inside just as the gunshot sounded.
What he saw through his blurry, waterlogged vision was Charlie crumpling into a heap as the bullet hit his torso. Desmond nearly drowned out of shock then and there. Apparently, however..the shooters hadn't seen him come up. He saw two women go over to check Charlie's body, and then together, they dragged him out of sight. Frantically, Desmond had climbed out of the water.
His eyes caught sight of a harpoon mounted next to a large door. Recognizing the need to defend himself, Desmond had taken it. He knew he had to get Charlie's body. He couldn't leave it..And he knew he had to turn off the beacon if he ever wanted to see Penny again.. Desmond, running on rage and adrenalin, hurried towards the hallway the women had disappeared into. It was very narrow, with pipes and things all along the walls. Two people couldn't fit shoulder to shoulder, so the women were dragging Charlie in single file.
"Oy!" he shouted, aiming the harpoon towards the pair. "You drop your weapons or-" BLAM! A gunshot sounded and barely missed Desmond. The woman had turned and fired without hesitation. Reactively, Desmond fired the harpoon..it hit it's mark in the belly. Woman one coughed up once, blood dripping from her lips as she fell backwards aganst the second woman, knocking her out. Desmond lunged for the woman's gun and before he knew it..The other woman was dead, too... It was now just Desmond and 3 dead bodies.
Desmond had taken Charlie's body on his shoulders, turned off the beacon, and single-handedly brought Charlie's lifeless body back to the beach.
*End Flashback*
Now, Desmond continued on his journey down the beach, which ended right in front of Claire's tent. For two days, he had mourned and felt sorry for himself for being unable to save his friend, her love. Now, it was time to deal with this in the best way he knew how. He slipped inside of her tent, holding a large bottle of hard alcohol. He crouched in front of Claire, and showed her the bottle in one hand..two very small glasses in the other, recently salvaged and cleaned.
"I know it's not goin' to help much, but a tiny bit should at least make ye feel better," he said.
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Post by Claire on May 20, 2007 3:01:54 GMT
Claire turned her red eyes up at Desmond as he entered her tent. He had a bottle of some sort in his hand, no doubt full of alcohol, and two small glasses in his other hand. Seeing Desmond made all kinds of different feelings rise in Claire. She wanted to yell at him for not being able to save Charlie. Had he foreseen it? Why hadn't he done anything to stop it? Claire wanted to be angry, she wanted to cry, she wanted to just give up and sleep without ever waking up.
But the prize in Desmond's hand kept her from doing any of those things. Claire knew from past experiences that bottles of mystery liquor could make you feel better. If she needed anything right now, it was that.
She looked into Desmond's eyes, looking almost as painful as she felt, before turning her tired eyes to the bottle he held in his hand. After adjusting Aaron in her lap to a more comfortable position, she reached for the bottle. Claire didn't even bother reading the label to figure out what it was; she knew that if Desmond had it, it had to be something good and strong. As for the glasses... who needed those at a moment like this?
Claire wordlessly took the bottle and, after a quick moment of contemplation, removed the cork stopper before putting it to her lips and drinking. She drank like she was dying from thirst, ignoring the burning sensation as the liquid trickled down her throat. In all reality, she drank more than she probably should've in one sitting. But did Claire care at the moment? Of course not.
After a couple seconds, she brought the bottle back down, coughing slightly at the foreign taste in her mouth and the bitter sting of the alcohol. "Here," she said, handing the bottle back to Desmond. Under normal circumstances, Claire would have probably just taken a small sip or refused the alcohol altogether, but desperate times called for desperate measures. And if she ignored the immense burning that she was getting in her mouth and throat, it wasn't all that bad.
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Post by desmond on May 20, 2007 3:35:49 GMT
Desmond took the bottle with a very surprised look on his bearded face. He had expected Claire to take a sip or two maybe, and they'd be able to talk about what happened. The LAST thing this Scotsman had expected was for Claire to act as if she were in a drinking competition, or to drink as if she was dying of thirst. It was very bold of her..
But when he thought about it, it only made him realize how messed up she was realy feeling. His surprise gave way to sadness when he looked down at the heavy bottle of alcohol. He felt the pang of loss as if Charlie had perished only seconds ago. He had been unable to stop him from dying..and for what? No rescue had come. Sayid hadn't been able to contact the ship, yet.
Desmond raised the bottle to his lips, and he hesitated. He looked at Claire, and then he closed his eyes and downed just as much as she had. Being somewhat more used to the taste, he relished it as it passed through his lips and into his system. With a contented sigh, he let the bottle fall from his lips. Without closing it, he set it in the sand.
"If this keeps up, this bottle will be empty within an hour.." he noted.
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Post by Claire on May 20, 2007 3:59:10 GMT
"I just hope it burns less as you drink more," commented Claire, biting down gently on her bottom lip as she accustomed herself to the lingering taste in her mouth. She couldn't remember the last time that she had drank so much, but it had been awhile ago. After all, she hadn't had any alcohol while pregnant, so it had been quite some time since her last drink.
She wondered for a moment why Desmond had come over. But it was obvious. He wanted to talk, right? Claire knew it was probably best if she talked to someone about everything that had happened, but she just hadn't felt like it. She hoped that, with the aid of the liquor, things would just get easier and she would start to feel better.
Claire looked down at Aaron, now playing with his own fingers since Claire had denied him access to hers, and was silent for a moment. She was already starting to feel a bit lightheaded, proving the fact that she had definitely drank too much in one sip. She absently gave Aaron the cork from the bottle to play with, not realizing that the bottom of it would be coated with the alcohol and would most likely end up in the baby's mouth.
"I think my life is just meant to blow up in my face, ya know?" she commented dully. "I mean, I grew up without my dad. Ended up putting my own mum in a freaking coma. Then dad magically shows up and expects me to love him when I don't even know who the bloody hell he is. After that, there's the pregnancy, in the middle of which my sorry excuse for a boyfriend decides to leave. Then the plane crashes, people try to steal my baby, and now..." Claire squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head, putting her forehead in the palms of her hands and letting her fingers lace through her messy hair. She just didn't know what to do anymore.
In that position, she didn't notice that Aaron was now sucking on the alcohol-coated cork. He seemed fine for a couple seconds, but a moment later he made a disgusted face and started licking his lips, trying to get the taste out of his mouth.
((Ha ha... drunk baby!))
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Post by desmond on May 20, 2007 4:24:17 GMT
"I just hope it burns less as you drink more,"
Desmond laughed slightly his white teeth glinting in the last remaining sunlight. "Yeah, it definitely does," the veteran drinker reassured her as he set the two apparently un-necessary shot glasses beside him. The way they were going, they weren't going to be using them. Desmond adjusted his position, now that he knew he might be staying for a while.
The Scot picked up the bottle again and downed a fair amount, though not as much as the initial dose. He wiped the remainder from his lips with the sleeve of his ocean-blue shirt, and set the bottle back down between them. He was beginning to feel the buzz, and knew already that tomorrow morning wasn't going to be kind to him. Or Claire, for that matter.
Desmond heard Aaron cough, and when he looked in the baby's direction he saw the cork in his mouth. "Oh! Aaron, that's not for you.." he said, and plucked it from the kid's mouth. The damage was probably already done, unfortunately.
Claire began to elaborate on her life issues..And Desmond listened. The beginnings of drunkenness didn't take anything away from his attention span. In fact, it made him even more willing to listen. She spoke of her parents, the crash, her past relationship. She didn't seem to be too lucky in that regard. But then again, neither was Desmond. She reached the point where she didn't quite mention what'd happened to Charlie...
Then it hit him. The list.
Desmond furiously searched through all of his pockets, suddenly. after a couple seconds he found the list, written on white paper in black marking pen. It was Charlie's list, which he had called his 'greatest hits' while the two were on the small boat together. Staring at it for a moment, he handed it over to Claire...
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Post by Claire on May 20, 2007 4:46:21 GMT
Claire opened her eyes again when she heard Desmond speak to Aaron. She saw him take the cork away from the baby. She didn't understand why for a moment, after all, it was just a cork. But then Claire saw the look on Aaron's face and realized what must've happened. "Great," she said. "Now I'm going to have a drunk baby." How could things possibly get any worse?
Claire glanced at the bottle again, deciding if she wanted another drink or not. Well... seeing as how it's my fault that Aaron is now intoxicated, may as well. She grabbed the bottle and drowned a couple more sips, though nowhere near as much as she had taken during her first guzzle. Satisfied for the moment, she replaced the bottle back in the sand, feeling a rather enjoyable numbness in her head.
She watched curiously as Desmond started searching through his pockets, apparently trying to find something. Claire took the moment to look down at Aaron, still trying unsuccessfully to get the taste of liquor out of his mouth. She was such a bad mother, letting her baby have that cork with that stuff coated on it. What had she been thinking? Oh wait... she hadn't been thinking. That was the problem.
She diverted her attention back to Desmond when he handed her a folded piece of paper. "What's that?" she asked him, taking it and slowly starting to unfold it. Claire was getting to the point where she felt like she was in a bit of a fog, which she knew was not a good thing, but she ignored it.
She stared at the unfolded paper in front of her eyes. Claire instantly recognized the handwriting as Charlie's. She felt a painful stab in her heart at the realization of who had written this note. She slowly began to read, going over lines twice as her eyes didn't want to focus on the words.
#5- The first time I heard myself on the radio. #4- Dad teaching me to swim at Butlins. #3- The Christmas Liam gave me the ring. #2- Woman outside Covent Gardens calls me a hero. #1- The night I met you.
Claire could feel her eyes unwillingly start to fill with tears. "What is this?" she asked in a shaky voice, not looking up from the paper. She didn't know if her voice was unsteady due to emotions or the alcohol. It was most likely a mixture of both.
She read over the list again, especially the last line. The last line was what really mattered.
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Post by desmond on May 20, 2007 5:06:03 GMT
Desmond watched carefully as she read the list, thankful that he'd managed to remember the fact that he had that important piece of paper, and that he'd remembered before either of them had gotten too drunk to be able to read it, or understand the significance of it. The two were approaching that precepice rather quickly, however.
"Charlie gave it to me, before he went down to the hatch.." Desmond elaborated. He remembered the moment vividly, he'd probably never forget it. He'd been very close to tears himself when he actually read it before coming back to the beach. Desmond sighed as she read it again, and asked him what it was. "He asked me to give it to you..told me it was the best moments of his life. his 'Greatest Hits' were his words.."
Desmon looked down at his hands. The hands that had failed to save Charlie. The hands that had killed two women just recently. There was much blood on them.. Maybe the woman was right. Desmond wasn't meant to do great things. The button would be his only legacy..his only accomplishment. Why did he have this..foretelling ability when he couldn't even prevent the horrific futures he saw?
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Post by Claire on May 20, 2007 5:18:46 GMT
The best moments of his life. And Claire had been the number one moment. That thought caused a few tears to spill out of her eyes and over her cheeks. She didn't bother wiping them away, knowing that if she did, they would only be replaced with more tears.
Letting Aaron lie on his back on her bed, Claire looked up at Desmond with slightly narrowed eyes. "Did you know it was going to happen?" she asked him. She vaguely remembered that Desmond could see the future. Had he seen Charlie's death? "Did you?" she asked again, both wanting and not wanting an answer. Claire didn't know what she was going to do if Desmond told her yes. Maybe she'd slap him. Or maybe she'd just take all his alcohol. Possibly both.
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Post by desmond on May 21, 2007 4:15:47 GMT
"Did you know it was going to happen? Did you?!"
Desmond was silent as she stared him down. He didn't need time to process the information, he was just unsure about how to answer her question. "I didn't see him getting shot. While I was unconcious..I saw flashes of a funeral. I dove into the water as soon as I could.." Desmond said, shaking his head. He didn't reach for the bottle, this time. He let it sit.
After a moment, he looked up to Claire's eyes and, for the first time, saw just how devastated she was. Desmond had been telling himself that he'd done everything possible. He saw recue coming..He was sure. But somewhere along the line, he'd screwed up. Maybe by offering to switch with Charlie...He'd changed things. But not for the better, obviously. Charlie was still dead..and no rescue had come.
"I'm sorry.." he said, a little choked up. He truly was sorry, but he couldn't make it up to her. "I wish I could make it up to you, Claire, I really do.."
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Post by Claire on May 21, 2007 4:24:29 GMT
Claire didn't want to hear about how sorry Desmond was for what had happened. "Why didn't you do anything, then?" she demanded of him, the volume of her voice steadily increasing. "If you knew that..." She still couldn't bring herself to say what had happened, she just couldn't. "If you knew, why didn't you stop him? Why did you let him go? How could you let that happen if you knew it was going to happen?!"
She didn't understand it. Desmond could've saved Charlie, but he didn't. Why? Claire got to her feet, very unsteadily, and staggered to the other side of the tent, just having a need to move around. She put a hand up to her pounding head. Maybe she'd stood up too fast. Or she could be getting drunk. Either way, her head was killing her and yelling at Desmond didn't help.
But it sure as hell made her feel better.
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Post by desmond on May 21, 2007 5:01:34 GMT
Desmond let her shout at him. They both needed it. He needed to hear it, and she needed a target to focus her emotions on. He closed his eyes and let the words seep all the way in, let the sting remain. Charlie was dead. And Desmond had been unable to stop it. Claire was devastated, and he couldn't do anything about it. They were all stranded here, and Desmond couldn't change a damn thing.
"I told Charlie what I saw..And the reason he went for it?" Desmond asked, looking at the ground, "Because if he did, Everyone would be rescued. I saw you, and Aaron getting on a helicopter. We would be rescued.." Desmond sighed. "And when we were on the boat, I offered to take his place. Maybe if I died instead of him, the cycle would be broken..." Desmond said.
"But he knocked me out with an oar. He chose to go..." Desmond sighed. He wasn't using it as an excuse, just letting her know..
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Post by Claire on May 21, 2007 5:12:08 GMT
"He chose to go..."
Claire stared at the wall of her tent, not wanting to believe it. She didn't want to believe that Charlie would just accept something like that if he knew the consequences. She didn't want to. She wanted to be able to blame his death on someone besides himself. Claire wanted someone to be angry with. Desmond just happened to be here at the time and he seemed like the perfect target.
"You let him get in the boat," she accused with a shaky voice, turning around and facing Desmond. "You knew, and you still let him go." Claire sank down to her knees, ignoring the wave of tears spilling out of her eyes. "You could've..." She sobbed. "You should've..." She found it difficult to finish her sentences due to all the emotions built up inside of her. Claire put her head in her hands and just sat in the middle of her tent crying.
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Post by desmond on May 21, 2007 5:35:52 GMT
Desmond let loose another sigh, as the scene played out in his head again. And again. And so forth. He couldn't see a possible way for the scene to have played out any differently. The only alternative was that they do nothing..and have rescue never come. That would've been better than what happened, though.. Desmond took the bottle and downed more than he even had the first time. Dealing with this was tough.
"You knew, and you still let him go. You could've..You should've..."
Desmond nodded. He watches as Claire broke down..Maybe coming here hadn't been such a good idea after all. Desmond had only initiated more crying, shouting, more bad feelings. Charlie was dead. Nothing could change that. Claire was in the deepest depths of despair. It didn't seem like that would change soon, either. It was all his fault..
He hiccuped.
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Post by Claire on May 21, 2007 5:49:05 GMT
Claire wasn't sure how long exactly she had sat there sobbing. In her mind, Charlie was with her with a comforting arm around her, telling her that everything was going to be okay.
"While I'm gone... don't worry about me." That was what he had told her. Claire realized now that Charlie had known what was going to happen when he told her that. He knew that he was going to die, and he didn't want her to worry. He obviously didn't want Claire doing exactly what she was doing now. It's not what he wanted.
Claire rubbed her eyes with the heel of her hand and looked over at Desmond with blurry eyes. He seemed about as distraught as she was, bottle of alcohol in hand. The best thing that she could do at the moment was to just drink her sorrows away. She couldn't deal with this. Maybe if she drank enough she'd just go to sleep and never have to deal with anything ever again.
She slowly and unsteadily got up to her feet again, stumbling over to her bed and plopping down at the foot of it. Claire glanced over at Aaron, happily sucking on his fist and making those gurgling baby noises of content. How could he be so happy? Oh, right. He was drunk, too.
Claire held out her hand for the bottle and sniffed back another sob. The only way to fix this was to drown her emotions in pure liquor. That seemed to be the way to fix anything.
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